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Author Topic: Bisexuals  (Read 2959 times)

vanrozenheim

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Bisexuals
« on: April 18, 2007, 01:28:26 AM »

Bisexuals misunderstood by straight, LGBT communities
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Almost any bisexual will tell you they feel misunderstood.

Called fence-sitters, confused, curious and sex-obsessed, the Bs of LGBT, face scrutiny from outside and within, often accused of using bisexuality as a transition from heterosexuality to homosexuality — or ‘bi now, gay later.’

Some wonder if bisexuality exists at all.

[..]

Kim Rogers, a senior psychology major, is bisexual. She said she believes sexuality is fluid, or more of a continuum than two extremes. But not everyone accepts this definition easily. She would like to say everyone is supportive of everyone, but both homosexuals and heterosexuals have difficulty understanding, she said.


Some thoughts on this?
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Feral

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RE: Bisexuals
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2007, 02:16:30 AM »

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She said she believes sexuality is fluid, or more of a continuum than two extremes.


I'll acknowledge that this is what she says she believes. I will go so far as to admit that there is little reason to doubt the sincerity of her belief as it applies to herself. Will I accept this definition easily? Why no. The statement is a false one. My sexuality is not fluid. Is there some continuum at which I just find myself at one extreme? So the queer theorists keep saying. So the old (and not very credible) studies of Kinsey keep saying. It has not been my experience that this is so.

The more recent studies that focus on what are essentially neurological issues are not finding a continuum per se. The data in these studies (the eye response to images and the scent response to pheromones in particular) show really quite distinct and separate entities with little or no overlap. The studies do not appear to have been crafted to demonstrate anything meaningful about bisexuals. Perhaps when further studies to verify these findings are conducted they will have more useful populations that will clarify the issue one way or another.

Since I'm not bisexual, I can hardly say what reality looks like for someone who is Bi. I've only personally known (that I can recall) one woman who identified as bisexual and two men who identified as bisexual. This is not what anyone would call a reasonable sample size, so the fact that the woman now readily says she is straight and was 'confused' when she said she was bi, along with the fact that both men now readily say they're gay and were 'lying' when they said they were bi (their words, not mine) is not really on point.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be having difficulty understanding. No, I don't think all bisexuals are polyamorous orgy-seekers. That would be silly. Such people DO exist, however. I don't think that all bisexuals are confused or lying. That too would be silly. People ARE confused at times and people DO lie (especially about their orientation) at times. If it's this concept of a fluid, changing orientation that shifts over months or years from one subject to another... yes, that I do not understand. This is an alien experience to me. It's as perplexing a thought as sexual attraction to women. I know that lots of men experience it. I know that not a few women do as well. I, however, do not. I would never claim to understand it. That this 'fluid state' is so often described by bisexuals is probably the most convincing evidence that they really do exist.
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

vanrozenheim

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Bisexuals
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2007, 06:35:00 AM »

I am readily acknowledging that bisexuals actually often are discriminated against in straight and gay circles, when it comes to mating. The reason is as simple as it can be: nobody wishes to engage in an emotional relationship with a person who might ab initio "miss" something in this relationship. Prejudice or not, the mere thought that my boyfriend might as well easily land in bed with another woman, seems particularly distastefull to me as a gay man.

Beyound this, 2 of 3 self-professing male bisexuals I personally know are older men who were married to women previously, and now feel more attracted to (much younger) men. That's what one might judge as the "fluent" sexuality changing with years, whereby the question is allowed whether the guys were not simply closeted homosexuals before? But again, those folks can certainly much better assess their own experiences and orientation, and it is far from me to put them into one or other drawer to regain order in my simple world view.

What I object is the notion introduced by queer theorists that both gender and sexual orientation are merely a question of social discourse, thus gender and sexuality were "fluent", "volatile" and "interchangable" in principle. While I again readily acknowledge that this might apply for some individuals, I am inclined to persist that this is obviously not true for all or even most individuals. While the projection of what applies for majority to all human beings is intrinsically wrong, it is no less wrong to extrapolate the "truth" of a minority to the entire rest of humanity as well.

While some people imagine an ideal world as being one with as few diversity as possible (to avoid division and mutual hostility), I am among those who appreciate the differences. It is OK for me to live in a world consisting of hetero-, bi- and homosexuals, of males, females and transgenders and morphological/genetical intersexuals, and watever other facettes of identity are there in the wide, complicated world. The simple truth is that whereas there might be some "continuum" in gender and sexual orientation, this imagined "continuum" is purelly a statistical one. The single individual can very well identify him/her/itself as belonging to one or other group without much difficulties; the group interest are often as clearly defined and might differ significantly.

In case of necessity, humans still can form alliances whatever their particular identity might be -- without blurring the differences.
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of liberty must undergo the fatigues of supporting it." Thomas Paine

Feral

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Bisexuals
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2007, 04:07:03 PM »

Quote
I am readily acknowledging that bisexuals actually often are discriminated against in straight and gay circles, when it comes to mating.


Always this particular discussion (and several related to it) end up in my bedroom. It is a peculiar strategy, and an even stranger way of thinking.

Because I will not date a person I am for some reason prejudiced in some unpleasant way against that person?

Alas, I must be a wretched fellow indeed. Since I am married, there is nearly no one I would agree to date; all are unacceptable, all far short of my ridiculous standard. If you happen (through no fault of your own) to not have been born the man I married, I reject you out of hand (why, without even bothering to get to know you first... the scandal of it).

In a different venue that I observe frequently the topic du jour is the question "would you date a transgendered person?" From the tenor of the conversation, it seems I am terribly transphobic because (were I not married) I would not consider even for a moment dating a transwoman. Sweeties -- I am a gay man; I do not date woman. If that makes me misogynist as well, then paint the letters large when you hang the sign around my neck. Political analysis can be taken much to far. It can become absurd. When a person's politics presume to comment on whom I choose to have sex with and whom to share my life with, those politics have become a sad farce. There is a long list of crimes I am prone to accusing straight people, especially straight men, of committing. Cruelly refusing to date gay men is not among them.
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

Rain

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Bisexuals
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2007, 11:03:19 PM »

You  mean they DO exist...?  


***faints***
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Each of us inevitable; Each of us limitless - each of us with his or her right upon the earth; Each of us allowed the eternal purports of the earth; Each of us here as divinely as any is here. ~ Walt Whitman

berto

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Bisexuals
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2007, 11:38:37 PM »

lol :D
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